am i?

I am falling into deep sleep
to escape from the reality
but the pain is still inside of me
should I kill myself to set my soul free?
Or should I just let the emptiness embrace me so easily?

In the darkness
Where I feel myself again
In the sanctuary
Where I can freely gain everything beautiful
I desire so long
Like an innocent child

Beneath my endless asleep
I hear the lost voice
It’s haunting me
Every time I walk to gloomy path
The whispers are seducing me
When I entwined myself in decay

In my black heart I feel the touch
It’s seeking every fragment of my sanity
And deprived every my gash I hold it behind the scars

Ray of the dark
The crimson eyes are hiding
Behind the blind walls
Watching my spirit diminishes in my embrace
Feeling my breath as I take it with elegy

Slowly I am drowning
Into her creepy
Yet mysterious eyes….
No angels could save me from this
Nor the light could lucid me the salvation….

Through the mirror
She sees my tears as I weep them endlessly
With one touch she wipes them away
she lets the drops of my tears on his hand lingering into her heart
she long to taste this empathy I have
As I shatter this image of my soul
The blood is dripping from my lips
The softly kiss covers my scars
This is my immortal path
Within the solitude
With the shadow

never again

never again will i see the twinkle in your eye
or your heart beat in time with mine
never again will i hear you laughter
or hold you close to me
when you left you took a part of me
that i will never get back
but our time together was perfect
the roses in the garden
the leaves in the fall
the moonlit meadow
as the shadows dance outside the fire
i remember the look in your eyes
as we gazed at each other
the universe connected it all made sense
in that one one second of truth
i gave my heart to you

What if

“What if…”

“No.” He cut her off. “No more what ifs. Its over. “He let her hand drop from his and walked away. Trying not to cry He held the only thing he had left other than the clothes on his back, her heart. Not a literal heart, but a locket.

“Can I at least have my heart back?” She whispered. Her head down and tears rolling off of her soft, pale skin.

He stopped and turned around slowly to face her. “I thought you meant it when you said I could keep it.” He paced slowly back to her.

“I thought you meant it when you said forever. Now can I have it back?” She stood looking at him, he refused to look back.

“Fine. I want mine back too then.” He held out his hand still not looking up at her face.

“You never gave me yours.” She gave him a questioning glance and then went back to her soberly tear stained face.

“I did. Just not verbally or physically. Love can be portrayed as silence.” He said.

“But it can’t!! To love someone means that you show love not just say it.” She said.

“That’s not true” he said. “I loved you with all my heart; you had it before you ever knew me.”

“That’s a lie and you know it!” she screamed “YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!!”

“I did love you once” he said “but then you changed into someone else”

“How did I change into someone else?” she asked him

“The girl you once were was funny, kind, romantic, equal, and fair; you are no longer that girl. You have become mean, cruel, and unfair, demanding and you cheated on me.” He said

“That’s a lie I am still the same person I have always been. I have NEVER cheated on you.” She said

“Then why did you make out with Amy?” he said

“I didn’t that was a just a silly rumor.” She says

“Really well then explain this” he says as he pulls out his cell phone and shows her a picture of her kissing Amy.

“Who sent you this!!” she screams

“That doesn’t matter what does is that you lied and you cheated on me, we’re through” he says as he walks away.

As she watched him walk away it felt like someone had cut a hole in her chest and ripped her heart out.  She fell to her knees and she started to cry, her makeup started to smear and she felt rain drops hit her head but she didn’t care, she had lost the one boy she truly had loved.  She heard car a car pull up and a door open “you need a ride some where missy?” she the guy from the car.

“No I don’t I am going to walk home” she said

“In this?” said the guy from the car. He looked up at the boiling black clouds

“Yes in this” she said quietly hoping that she would freeze to death.

“Ok then well bye” said the guy from the car as he drove away

She got up and started walking home asking herself why he left her. “What did do? Have I really changed?”

Her pocket started to vibrate she pulled it out it was Amy. “Hi Amy.”

“I just heard that you had broken up with Ronnie, what happened?” said Amy                  

“He dumped me ok. He thought I cheated on him with you” she said

“He thought you cheated on him with me, WTF we haven’t done anything!!” said Amy

“I told him that but then he showed me a picture of us kissing. We haven’t kissed, have we?” she said

“Well there was the sleep over remember.” Amy said

“Oh yeah but who took the picture we all promised that what happened there would remain a secret forever.” She said

“Well someone lied and used it to get your boyfriend to dump you.” Said Amy

“But who? The only one in the room with me was you.” She said

“Maybe one of the other girls snuck up there” Amy said

“Maybe but you have like Ronnie for a long time it could have been you.” She said

“You honestly think i would take you boyfriend from you?” Amy said

“You might you have liked him for like 3 years now.” She said

“I didn’t send him the picture of us kissing ok Sarah!” Amy said

“I don’t believe you lying bitch!!” screamed Sarah

“Fuck you I thought we were friends” said Amy

“We were until you made me lose my boyfriend” said Sarah

“No you did do you know how bitchy and how much of a whore you have become its disgusting!!!” Amy said

“I have not you liar and I’m not a backstabbing bitch like you are!” Sarah screamed and then she hung up her phone.

“First I lose the boy I love then my best friend I am a bitch” she though. As she walked home

The next day at school no one would even talk to her. Everyone called her a bitch and a slut and yelled at her for cheating on Ronnie. The only one who would sit with her at lunch was the “emo” girl who also had no friends. “Hey” said Sarah

“Oh hi?”  Said sally

“So umm why don’t you ever sit with anyone for lunch?” asked Sarah

“No one ever sits with me” said sally

“Can I?” asked Sarah

you

If not for you, I wouldn’t know
What true love really meant.
I’d never feel this inner peace;
I couldn’t be content.

If not for you, I’d never have
The pleasures of romance.
I’d miss the bliss, the craziness,
Of love’s sweet, silly dance.

I have to feel your tender touch;
I have to hear your voice;
No other one could take your place;
You’re it; I have no choice.

If not for you, I’d be adrift;
I don’t know what I’d do;
I’d be searching for my other half,
Incomplete, if not for you.

ocean waves

ocean waves

wash my soul

cleanse me of your smile

and the memory of

ten fingers

entwined forever

in a hopeless wish

a depressing poem.

Hold my hand, it's cold and clammy,
The light is calling me to rise,
Lean over a little closer to me,
I want to kiss you goodbye.

My eyes are focused on a distant point,
Somewhere far back in time,
A happy memory of when we first met,
And our very first kiss goodbye.

I know that we will meet again,
In time, on the other side,
And I will wait there for you, my love,
On the end of a kiss goodbye.

So don't you weep for me my darling,
Dry the tears that you cry,
My time has come, don't rush to follow,
Just give me a kiss goodbye.

truth

it is not necessary to understands things in order to argue about them.